EXIT

4AM

Peed my pants in the sandbox once when I was five years old
I don't think about the time when we first met in the parking lot behind the Viper Room
I was helping some pot-addled hippie torture confessions from a Gershwin tune
Me blowing through a minor mixolydian
You bemused and smoking
leaning against a Chrysler
Framed by the neon haze
Transformers on telephone poles crackling like angry hornets
No
I will not think about that

Better I should ponder the nature of existence
Matter as illusion
Solidity impossible
Mankind as a non-repeatable experiment
I'm going to lie right here and think hard about whether or not I exist

I will not, however, recall the way you punched my arm every time a movie made you cry
How every movie we ever watched made you cry
The way your hair stuck to the nape of your neck and how it tasted when I kissed you there
I will not think about how loving you was the most dangerous criminally assinine thing I've ever done
in a lifetime filled with criminally asinine behavior
A lifetime defined by criminal asininity

It is four o clock in the morning and a vast multi-colored parade of permissable thoughts
marches by the bleachers upon which my soporifically challenged psyche sits
hurling invective and tomatos at the lesser floats and booming huzzahs at the greater
But turning silently away as the Homecoming Queen approaches

It is four o clock in the morning here
but untold timezones away
the vast deserted plain which is my heart is trampled beneath great thundering herds of love for you
Galloping snorting kicking up clouds of dust so high they're blocking the sun
They're besmirching the moon
I will not
think
about that

Fine
I'll get up
Christ I'm out of coffee
How am I supposed to stay awake?